JAZ

2009-10-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

NOTE PEOPLE:

change of URL. www.justme-jaz.onsugar.com

`bye blogger.

2009-09-29T23:34:00.002+08:00

today, went to marsiling cc for band. just thought want to go there and lepak awhile. cause dont want to stuck in the fucking home. is like whole week last week and the whole day today. bored to death already.

meet alif on the train and head down to woodlands and took bus to the cc. set up the oboe and started to try out. after slacking until 9.30 like that, firdaus asked me to go in and try out a piece. is like so long i didnt play, and the tone SUCKS! omg. damn sad. but i can say my sight reading improving already. as compared to last time. i can play the rhythm correctly with some assist from firdaus. lols. thanks. :D

after the practice, headed home straight. is was not too bad a day.

im improving my punctually! is like i said i would be home by 11pm yet, i was home by 11.03pm. as compared to last time, is like worst. will be home like only 11.30pm. some people just wont see that lah. still think that im late and not punctual! wth. whats the point? seriously.. is getting out of my nerves. im tired of this man. is like im 18, for god sake. why must i be home so early when the government cant really do anything to me? i can smoke, drink, go clubs. many things i can do. yea, i know im not yet 21 to be an adult. but is like, come on lah... i need some SPACE! freedom man. i know they care about me. but is a bit too much and tight. i cant breathe well man. :(

now, im missing him again. since last wed until now didnt meet up. can only meet up on saturday i guess.. if he didnt go NS yet, i guess it would be the best holiday ever. spending more time with my love. ahh... i miss him lah.. guess now, he must be sleeping soundly already. poor him, everyday also so tired. want to msg also hard. nvm, im always understanding. lols. :)

i love you my dear. :D

`needs space to breathe.

2009-09-27T14:25:00.002+08:00

i just realised that i didnt post my results in blog. i only post it on facebook. i thought didnt know until lala asked me. i did not too bad. i was pleased with my results however there is still disappointment. is not really what i expected to get. GPA was not within average. is like hard for me to pull through the next 2 years. just have to pray hard that i would be able to pull through myself and work harder. STRIVE! :D just hope that i can get a cert and graduate and get a stable job.

now im into deep consideration of signing sponsorship with hospital. i just have no idea to sign with which hospital. if i sign now, 3 years of bond with them. well.. 3 years can say long but time flies fast. just afraid that i will not want to continue nursing then i will be so dead lah. need to pay back all the money that im sponsored. by seeing my results, i didnt do too well. might not be able to get sponsorship. sadded. :(

i need cash. i need it so badly. no because i want to go shopping or what. but is like i dont want to burden my family already. since my parents say they think i spend too much. so must well, i just get a sponsorship instead of working and tired myself. wont it be better? at least i can pay my OWN PHONE BILL! i use how much, i pay how much. then own allowance i will give myself. still can go shopping, give parents some too. isnt that a good idea? thats why i want to sign the sponsorship quite badly. but thinking the 3 years of bond i a bit dont know whether want or not.

which hospital should i sign with? thats the question! argh...

alexandra hospital? ttsh? sighs... i might be going back school to get the form and fill in and the decide again with discussion with my parents and maybe friends..

alrights.. enough of sponsorship.. today, another day ROTTING at home! omg lah. im damn tired of this life man. thought monday would be going out.. seeing the situation like that, i doubt so. then guess it would be another day rotting. sians.. i dont mind go play pool again. omg.. ytd went. damn miss it lor. my "SKILLS" all gone. lols. (guess shabby will get it even parker) HAHAHA! :D

tuesday night may be going to marsiling. still thinking whether to go back or not. i also like two months or more didnt touch my instrument. kinda of miss it. :)

lastly.. today is wilson's birthday. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY! :D i usually call him chimpanzee, but he doesnt like it. that was his nickname during secondary school time. lols. god bless him. :)

`sponsorship.

2009-09-24T14:10:00.002+08:00

now, im getting confused. i really dont know what im doing and thinking.

what am i thinking? can anyone tell me? i hate to be confused and having no target/aim. this just make me even more confused. can someone just tell me what to do?

today, im still rotting at home. omg. why my holidays so BORED! someone come and give colours to my holidays?

btw, ytd i got my piano practical grade 6 cert. is not a worthy pass. serious. i know it myself. my pieces dont deserve such high marks. my sight reading. everything in fact. is all luck! my examiner is just a nice man to give me a risk pass. i thank him man! nice man indeed. :) i got all my scales wrong. totally wrong and he even state that. the whole scales part i did almost all wrong and the tempo was so not in grade 6 level. i knew it myself. i play even worst than my sister. but, her luck is just not that good to get the right examiner to help her. i know she might be feeling sad. but i feel even more unworthy about this. i know that i dont have the ability to pass this exam. i did not feel good about the pass! seriously, i just feel like re taking the practical. however, i got no more time to waste. i want to get my grade 8 asap. i can get some extra cash from there. maybe teaching kids. sorry sister, you might think that im "haolian-ing", but im not. i want to let you know that i dont want this pass in fact. because i know myself how high i can get.

thinking for the past few days, i think i might want to continue studying nursing. after the attachment. learn alot of things. and get to see many things. i want to be someone extraordinary. i just cant stand some staff treating patients. i would like to be someone who can do both the part and showing care to patients. i dont want to be just a normal staff nurse who just busy with his/her paper work etc... :)

although i said that i want to continue nursing, i would not forget what i want to do. i want to teach kids. i like kids alot. so, i would put all my hope in teaching piano for kids. and just kids! :D

`confused.

2009-09-23T15:38:00.002+08:00

alrights, is really a long time since i blogged. around a week or two.

finally is my time to say "hello" to my HOLIDAYS! attachment finally over. though is over, is a sad thing to me actually. through this attachment i learn quite alot of things. most important is the rapport between me and patients and staffs. without any rapport, everything cannot go into place correctly. a patient was touched that she even teared when i say goodbye with a get well soon card for her. i was also too emotional, eyes were filled with tears.

okays, no more sad things. say about something happy! :D

today just meet my darling. although is a short period of time only. is still nice of him to come over :)

just now went back to ttsh to get something signed. was quite rush. after meeting him, went to ttsh straight. met up with alena adn kahsing. then chatted awhile and alena accompanied me go up to the interview room to get the thing sign. on the way back, saw susila! omg! miss her so much. so much things we need to update man. lols. both of us didnt go back band for a long time already. after the concert until now. is really damn long. then went home after a small chat. on the way home, was on the phone with julia. luckily got her, if not i would be bored! lols. :D

had my lunch at home. now rotting again. since saturday i had been rotting until now. sians.. next week, for sure i will be out! out with friends, friends and friends. so many group of friends i would like to meet up with. next week would be meeting all my girlfriends, going for pool session! omg. my hand is itchy man! need to exercise. LOLS. :D also want to meet up with jannah, sabby and lala. miss those girls so much. :)

`rotting.

2009-09-07T17:35:00.002+08:00

since a long time i last blog my blog. lols.

ytd was my 18th birthday! i really thank denise, julia, song jun, dickson and rainer.

5th september:
i went out around 4pm and when shisha with two pretty girls. denise and julia. the two of them accompanied me. i thank the two of them man. :D meet up with diana, kenneth, edison and jz. had fun. in the end, i saw hazfiz - my ex colleague. he was with his group from friends. played game with them. had quite some fun there. it was just nice that his friend, firman, birthday was that day. before i leave them and heading home, they sang a song for him and me. a bit ps sia. not a bit lah, quite a lot. lols. but is so nice of them, i dont really know them, yet they sang song for me. :D thanks guys. i the end, the 2 girls came over to my place for drinks. on the way home by train and at 12 midnight, the two of them kissed my cheeks. so sweet :) thanks girls. came over my place and 'ton'. did nothing much. just had some girls chat. i only manage to sleep for 3 hours like that only. so tired. but had fun. lols. they both headed home around 9am after a warm breakfast at my house the coffee shop.

6th september:
ytd, went out with my 3 primary school friends. the 3 guys. standard the 4 of us. lols. went to plaza sing for movie and lunch. the movie was nice. oh yea, i meet up with val too. she was there with her cousin and sister. then she was sitting beside me. so cool. we didnt plan it. it was after a phone call from her. lols. after the movie, went to get rainer's itouch. then headed home for dinner with my family and the 3 of them. had some drinks. i didnt finish, and i puked! wth. but nvm, it was fun for the day. :D thanks to them. manage to get some sleep at 12midnight. tired man!

today:
was suppose to go for attachment but i overslept. cause the past 2 days didnt have enough sleep in fact. so i called up my CI and told her that im having a bad headache. so could not turn up. went to see doctor at 1.30pm. before that, meet up with my dear. :D so nice of him to accompany for hours. waited for my turn to consult the doctor for like 2 hours like that. consulting the doctor for only 5mins! lols. got a mc to present tml. i guess had a make up on saturday. if not i cannot complete my CA for this term's CA.

he guess that i would blog this. half the reason i blog was because of him saying, another is i too long never blog already. lols.

dear is going NS tml. going to miss him much. love you, my dear. kisses to you. must take good care of yourself k?

`eighteenth birthday!
`love you, my dear.

2009-08-31T21:43:00.003+08:00

today is the first day of attachment. was not too bad, although a bit bored of the orientation. lols.

tml maybe cannot meet my dear. my shift, in fact, everyone change to, 8am - 4pm. actually was afternoon shift. but nevermind, at least can be with sabby. :D

today, my PDA got problem. dont know what's wrong with it. until now still not sure. when charge, the PDA is very hot than usual. now trying to sync things again before going for attachment tml again. hope nothing goes wrong tml. if not i have to use the normal log book instead of my PDA. spend so much yet now become so troublesome! lols.

i miss my dear so much. going NS soon. days are numbered. although can book out after dont know after how many months. within that time when you are in, we will not be contacting with each other much, afraid that i would feel empty without you. however, i still believe that we will never be apart right dear? love you. :D

`empty

2009-08-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

ytd had PAS paper. psychology somehow flung again. sighs.. hope sociology can help to pull up a bit. what make me damn pissed is that i made a lot of careless mistake!

especially the first MCQ, i wrong already. answer should be STABLE and not UNIQUE. ARGH... the more i think the more i going crazy. i know need to memorise the classification of mental retardation. and i didnt! wth right. then also about the classical conditioning learning. omg, is a big portion! 8 marks! i dont think i can even pass for that question.. also, i didnt remember the NINE SYMPTOMS of depression! argh.. i only manage to recall 7, but i guess only 5 correct.

as for sociology, i remember the definition of deviance. yet, i put the definition of the strain theory! wth.. argh.. damn damn pissed with myself. the whole question including the sub questions, all gone! wasted! when a group or society increase in size, you will share less responsibility right? i go put MORE. now become MORE MISTAKES.

i guess from MCQ i can get at least 15 out of 20. my SAQ scuks man! OMG.

later will be having microbiology paper at 9am. hope i can do it. went for the remedial class last week. still quite fresh in mind. pray hard that paper not that difficult for me. ;)

after that, i have to rush back to cck again. sighs.. having my english oral. havent even practice anything! nothing i did to help! pray hard again, hope i get nice examiners and easy conversation topics and picture discussion!

maybe after my oral, i might be going for dinner with my babe. hope she can make it. although went for a swim at her place, still, we got many things to catch up and never ending conversation together! :D julia too. tuesday had a great time with the two of them. miss those days.

tml is another concentation day for me. having AAP paper in the morning, then follow by PDA training, then piano practical. after PDA training, need to rush home to practice a bit. if not i can die without any warm up! hope i can pass. *cross my fingers*

lastly, i love you my dear. :D

`concentrated.

2009-08-25T09:21:00.002+08:00

having all my doubts solved. thanks to my dear. he is really nice. send me a msg to clear all my doubts. :D

i promised i wont have doubts in you anymore.

TRUST is the start.
LOVE is the commitment.
PROMISED is the word.

i love you my dear. :)

`so in love.

2009-08-24T16:49:00.001+08:00

today, stayed home the whole day instead of going study. guess tonight i will off television and my lappy. i need to mug!

maybe later going lot one to get dinner. eating with me and my sis. she wants to eat pizza, but i go no money :( sadded. somehow i want to eat too. miss it quite a bit. lols.

`needs to mug.

2009-08-24T02:46:00.002+08:00

now im becoming nocturnal already. until 3am still cannot sleep. sighs..

ytd stayed home the whole day. didnt went for dinner as well. was too lazy and full to go. lols.

sometimes, i just feel whether whatever you are talking is true or not. are all those just sweet talking or from your heart? whenever i see you online, wanting to talk to you more, you just go offline. why is it so? just so contradicting. you say you want to sleep, but sometimes i just find you doing other things. you can just say that you go things to do, im fine with it. but why is it you need to lie to me. ytd, although you didnt. you said you go somethings to do.

i gave you my everything already. my love, my care, my concern.. so many things i gave it to you. you said that you are trying to be serious and you wan to be serious too. i do see you trying to, but sometime i just dont feel it. i need more secure from you. pls help me by letting me feel you more. you are going NS soon too. im so going to miss you although you can book out on weekends. there will be a difference. without you around, i just feel empty now. guess, im falling more deeper for you. pls, dont ever leave me as i will not.

today, i might be going to Esplande to study with shabby. :D hope that i would study man. i need self motivation! can anyone to help me get my self motivation back? no one, but MYSELF! lols.

guess, im turning in soon. after my show ends. :D

btw, just now there was a fire incident at my block. is at the other end of the block from my place. at the staircase there. i was watching tv still, my sis was about to sleep and went to look at the window. dont know for what reason. i was about to ask her, still dont want to sleep, i saw the haze out there. then my sis shouted and said, there is fire. i was like wtf. in this hour? midnight? omg lah. i was excited in fact. for the first time witnessing handsome fire fighter came to rescue! lols. actually, cannot really see well of their looks lah. just anyhow comment. back to topic, when the fire engine come, the fire already somehow gone. only left haze in the air. the lights at the staircase all gone and even some of the household was affected. wonder why the fire started. well, there was lots of junk there for what i remembered. still unsure what causes the fire. i think there are no injuries. everyone is most likely to be safe.

some warning to people, pls do not leave newspaper, wood, anything that can catch fire easily out side your door or nearby. place it at places where it suppose to be. if not, dont allow any thing can agitated any fire incident to happen. remind your parents or grandparents to do so. younger generation, this is our job to educate our older generation the right things to do. remind them nicely and tell them the consequences.

`nocturnal.

2009-08-23T04:36:00.002+08:00

ytd met up with alvin. cannot really remember the timing. LOLS. we went to timah for pool session. out of so many game, i only win once. that shows that, i need to improve on my SKILLS! haha. dont worry alvin, i will beat you soon. ;)

after a few hours of pool at century, went for dinner.

oh yea, i forgot, i met up with denise. she was around timah as well. in fact at beauty world only. so meet up with her. had a game with her then off for dinner.

yup, dinner. then sabby came and parker too. after dinner, had an hour of another pool session.

this was my day for ytd.

as for the day before - friday, had FON paper. not too bad. can pass i guess. hope i would just pass overall and MOVE ON!

well, after the paper, went to collect the PDA. it was fcuking long the queue. i hate queuing. like seriously! luckily, jannah was in front, so sabby and me went to the front with them. then we could get it done in like an hour instead of MORE! lols. then sabby and me went for pool. before that meet up with parker too. and we played together. had lots of fun with them actually.

alrights, i guess today i would be bored at home again. i just hope it will be! or maybe i should just study? LOLS.

all my motivation in studying gone! i just cannot sit down and study again. really. all just gone. hoping that the motivation would be back by next week, then i could study for my exams!

upcoming exams and things to do:-
1. 26 Aug: PAS EXAM
2. 27 Aug: MIC EXAM, English 'O' Level ORAL.
3. 28 Aug: AAP EXAM, PDA training, PIANO EXAM(Practical Grade6)

monday and tuesday what should i do? i think i better study!!! :D

`motivation

2009-08-19T23:30:00.001+08:00

exams drawing nearer and nearer. getting more and more stress.

today went for FON1 with mdm aw. she is a nice lecturer i tell you. the class was nothing much but going through the past year papers with answers. then she go through some care plan. i think i can do it! i just need to run through the mind map on MeL, can no problem already. i hope so ;)

tml, having plans with someone already. cant wait. :D

friday, FON1 exam! mug mug mug! JIAYOUS people.

just now, somehow got scolding by my piano teacher. :( i know that i did not practice much. especially my scales and sight reading. but i really have no time for that. is like i need to study for my upcoming exams. im damn stress now, but i guess no one can see how stress i am actually.

`mugging.

2009-08-18T23:23:00.002+08:00

today, i only needed to go school at 2pm. but i went out very early today. like 10am. because my sister was sick. then went to the polyclinic with her. my mum asked me to consult a doctor too. i was like, for what. then she says, my voice is not back, so means not okay, need to see doctor. i was like, okay fine. waited for like fcuking 2 hours there. seriously waste of my time. but nevermind, i need to accompany my sister as well. so, just see the same doctor.

after consulting the doctor, had to wait for medication and payment. another 30mins gone just like that. sighs.. then took medication, mc and payment done went to lot one had lunch. lunch was not too bad, but the food was SALTY! still managed to finish up for the first time. usually me, i would not finish up.

after lunch, i actually thought of going home instead of going for the class. in the end, my legs just drag me there. so manage to attend the class. was a smaller group instead of the small group. cause there are people didnt turn up. i thought the lesson was great. especially from lecture 6 onwards. because... i didnt pay attention, i was sleeping in class for most of the time. sorry people, i disappoint you guys. but, only this module i sleep the most. lols. but nevermind, now at least i get to catch up. :D

MIC, in fact, is not that hard. just need to know some specific terms, you will get the kick of it. i really easy in fact. now i really get it. just need to do some more revision before going for exam on 27 august! quite scared. cause i just pass the module out of 60% only. then i really dont want to retake this module again. is damn boring. or even the others too.

exam starting this friday. FON the first paper. i hope i will not fail again. i failed once, the common test. took the retest and i PASSED! got and D. a bit disappointed but still okay. at least i pass get hold of 30%+ for FON already. just need another 10% to get D grade (passing rate) to move on the FON2. hope i could make it too. the others, im not that worry. just need some revision and intense study on my own and i can pass for sure :)

not only school exams coming up, my O level english oral and Piano exam (practical) coming too. somehow clashes with my school exams. sighs.. 27aug i have MIC in the morning and after that i have to rush home and prepare for oral at BPGHS. and on the 28aug, i will have APP in the morning, PDA training until afternoon after the paper, and i have to rush for piano exam already. all these are stressing me up! STRESSED!

my voice is not back yet. cough until it hurts my voice. afraid that it will affect my aural singing in piano exam. english oral im not that afraid. the examiner can hear me well can already. as long as i speak properly can already. so only the singing during the piano practical is what i worry most. :( hope my voice come back soon. *crossing my fingers*

alrights, today is a long long post. im going to stop here for now. :)

`stressed.

2009-08-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

ytd, went back to school for revision lecture and make up lesson. PAS was very concentrated, but is a nice topic. revision lecture on AAP was not too bad with Dr Ron. he's good yet... but maybe he just teach one lecture, so a bit hard to say.

currently, im back to reading New Moon. i want to finish this book as soon as possible then i can get to the next book. im so going to do it! :D

so many movies i want to watch. Final Destination is like one of the movie i want to watch. who is going to accompany me to watch? im so not going to watch alone. :P

later, i need to go back school for MIC. cause i didnt do well, i need to go for like remedial class. hope that it is going to be useful, if not i would not want to waste my time there. MIC is one of the module i dont really like. hope i can make it this one time and go to the next module. i dont want to do any contract learning.

exams are coming, im going to mug already. if i cannot make it through smoothly, i might want to withdraw from nursing already. is too tough for me. nursing is like not me. im such a loud person, nursing is like for someone with patience and passion in life. i dont think i have that abilities or quality to. i want to be like an actress, something to do with media. that is so me!

aiya.. i dont know lah. maybe im just day dreaming. LOLS.

`mug.

2009-08-15T21:34:00.002+08:00

something have been bothering me this few days. i know you have a girl, but why you still come for me? seriously, im mad and crazy for you. i just have no idea wat im thinking and doing in fact. am i doing the right thing? or are you doing the wrong thing? you have made me feel so crazy for you. you made me liked you so much. you just disappoint me a lot. thats too much. if you wan to play games, remember to play safe. im not a stupid girl for you to play with. you might think that i have no idea about anything and you can contiune with it. go ahead. just dont make me to go and talk to your girl. remember this, im not someone you can mess with.

`third party.

2009-08-09T18:46:00.004+08:00

you are who i think of much. you are the one i want now. i dont care what would happen in the furture. that would be the future. i just want you to be by my side now. i do like you dearly.

i dont know why, but my right upper eye lit keep twitching! is there something bad going to happen? is it something good going to happen? i just know that my sixth sense is telling me to be careful, there will be something coming towards me. is just that i cannot feel whether it is good or bad thing. sighs..

this might be a random post. i would think of him often. thinking of him.

alrights, i need to prepare to go out already. left 15 mins for me. got to rush!

`thinking of him

2009-08-09T16:49:00.000+08:00

ytd actually suppose to stay home the whole day. but at around 5pm, dickson, songjun and rainer msn me. ask me whether wan to go town for movie. somehow a count down and meet up. they wanted to watch midnight movie, i thought i couldnt join them for sure. in the end, it was not! lols. i went out with them. but didnt get to watch the movie that we wanted to watch. in the end, went for dinner first at cafe cartel. i had pasta and mango madness. after that, went to shaw tower there to had some starbucks. slack around and chill. damn bored. around 1am like that we took NR3 back.

i called sabby and i meet her up at panjang in the end. omg, it was like so nice. first time drink with her. drank E33. it was so nice man. so long didnt drink that. like a few months. the last time was with denise and i only took a few sips. i was feeling "high". my eyes betrayed me. i said im not "high" also cannot. my eyes just tells everyone that i did drink. lols. but whatever, had lots of fun with sabby and her niece and her sister. so cute lah the niece. went home with cab at around 2.30am like that. then reach home before 3am as i promised! wah.. good right? if i didnt take a cab, i guess there will not be next time. lols.

after i reached home, i quickly went for a shower and then went to online a while. chat with some people and facebook awhile. slept at 4am.

today, woke up at 12 to 1pm like that. wasnt too sure about it too. lols. had my breakfast and lunch at the same time. watch some tv and online, facebook - never fails. :D

i thought i would be homed today. i wanted to watch the NDP. but couldnt. :( i need to go my cousin's place whom im not very close with. go there celebrate his birthday. i was like.. ehs.. okays. nevermind. go there just slack slack.

hope he would call me and talk to me. if not i will be bored to death. i miss him. is like ytd suppose to go ION with him, in the end was called off. maybe he got something on, so nvm. im not like those girls who are unreasonable. last night he called me at around 9pm. talked a bit. hope he would call me and we talk a bit longer k? is hard for me to contact him as well, because this boy arh.. aiya.. forget it. at least he took the initiative to call me :D im very happy already. im not a difficult person to be satisfy.

just now, just did my AAP MeL quiz. i got 14 out of 20. highest was 15 out of 20. i just cannot get it. :( nevermind. at least got pass can already.

alrights, i need to get ready soon. rest awhile, im going to dress up to go my cousins house.

`drink, drank, HIGH

2009-08-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

my list of things are getting shorter and shorter. left only AAP mel quiz and practical test. yet, exams are coming nearer and nearer. guess, this holiday i need to study for upcoming exams, especially MIC and FON. STRESSED!

tml is NATIONAL DAY! HAPPY advance BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE! this is the day when we celebrate 44th years of independence. :D

dont need to say, tml i will be home again. would not want to be in the crowd. hates crowd. will get into bad mood easily.

ytd had some vodka downstairs with denise. didnt really get tipsy, just felt sleepy. fell asleep very quickly. had a good night sleep. :D had some catch up with denise and talk quite alot. although catch up quite a bit, there are still more to go. sometime i do miss her. she understands me quite well actually. of course not only her who understands me, friends like julia, sabiha, jannah, they sure to know me. especially sabiha, every time we had dinner together, we would lepak at panjang. talked alot alot! she's a good listener. :D thanks babe.

im feeling sleepy again. guess im going to take a short nap first.

`stressed.

2009-08-06T01:22:00.000+08:00

i dont know what's wrong with my blogger again. i couldnt change my font. forget it. LOLS.

well, had my skills test on last monday. was suppose to be quite bad. but i got an A. i was so happy :D

basically, now im stressed about my school, my english O levels, my piano practical - grade 6. is like everything somehow clashes. getting more and more stress about it. i wanted to cry out just now when i had my piano lesson, i told my teacher about it, how stress am i now. although i have study breaks, i still have to work on my english oral and my piano scales! is like, 36 major, minor scales. 5 or 6 sharps and flats! OMG! i know. hopefully i can pass. and my sight-reading for bass clef just scuk! also another OMG one. i just cannot read bass clef. totally scuk in it. my pieces suppose to be the most confident of all yet is not really that. the speed of all the pieces is still not there. and like notes some still not right, also the fluent of the pieces too. shit. im going into a deep deep trouble. just cannot make it this time round, i guess.

later, going to school at 11am for CITS. i think i need to do another interview. the video i took from my phone just cannot work. im going to be so dead again. but nevermind, i will do it with other people tml. just some random people.

`stressed!

2009-07-27T00:27:00.002+08:00

finally, my blogger is back to normal :D

alrights, those few days really quite sad, shag.. ehs.. dont know how to say lah. just moody. emotional. sometime very good, sometime really bad until not talking and just feel like crying suddenly. but now, since is over, means is over. thats it. it ended with a nice full stop. thanks for those 4 days anyways.

i thank alvin. he is a nice person. when i need him, he never fail to make me smile or even laugh. :D i need a listening ear, he is always there although he didnt talk much. thanks man!

later, going to school at 10am for my first lesson, NSL. woohoo... very happy. learning new things. yeah! :) tml got 3 hours of PAS. sians.

`im fine.

2009-07-24T22:47:00.001+08:00

im sad. sadded.

how i wish time could stop on wed.

`miss those 4 days we had.

2009-07-23T13:56:00.001+08:00

im blog will be dead for a few days. i dont know what's wrong with my laptop, i cannot get into blogger :( but nevermind. i also go no mood to blog these few days.

`shag.

2009-07-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

shouldnt have fall asleep last night so early. i can talk to my babe, and even text mad. i just miss him so much.

today, i felt so green. so envy of people around me. my eye candy got a gf already. sadded.. :(( sighs...

wonder how is he doing? is he not going to care about me anymore? or is he just letting it go? i already waited for him since march until now, but i knew there might not be any hope, yet, im still waiting for him. thinking of him. missing him. sighs.. maybe is the end?

`missed, mad.

2009-07-12T22:51:00.003+08:00

my chest hurts. lulu is in pain! :((

i really need a puff now.. stressed.

tml, is a start of a new term. hope everything will go smoothly and nice for me. i will work even harder for this coming term and get all pass :)

projects are coming in my way sometimes. some people just didnt even bother to do anything and send a mail to me so that i can do the powerpoint slides. stupid people. waste my time.

love is numb now. nothing i can do. nothing i can look forward to. mad is like gone.. the other guy is like sick to me. OMG.. just terrible..

`tired and in pain.

2009-07-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

giving up on mad already. having him on and off really make me sick. although i do miss him, but it will be just deep down in my heart. leaving it aside.

FINISH MY ATTACHMENT! is a nice experience during this CA. really enjoy myself in marine parade polyclinic although it is far. lols. is nice there. the people, the patient, nurses, doctors, and sisters there :) thank them for everything. all their patience with us. they really tried their best to explain everything they can. i will update more about my CA experience in the polyclinic soon. maybe tml.

just now went to meet sabby and lala awhile. catch up a bit only :( but no worries, there is school on monday! cant wait man! :)

after that, went to meet denise at lot one. and sham. then his friends came. awhile of playing poker cards, the three guys went to buy liquor. i had some. now having a slight headache. :P but is okay. im not drunk people :) no worries.

now, i think im kinda of getting into a relationship with a guy. but i dont know whether am i doing the right thing. is like, feeling is some how there. yet, i just dont want others to know. especially people who know me and him. yea. just afraid that people might say things and i will just give up and give in to what people say. now, still doing fine. getting to more each other more. so, let just see how it goes. :)

`CA ended.

2009-06-29T01:17:00.002+08:00

LULU is going out for attachment these 2 weeks. excited and nervous! wish me luck people. so afraid that i will make any mistakes. sadded :( but, no matter what, i will surely try my best when im in my uniform and do the fullest as i can. :D

"LULU FROM CHINA" went for tour in singapore :-

26 june-

last friday night, went to night safari. had fun there. walked. went to watch the night creatures show or something. it was nice. first time watch. i love the part when the wolf came out. nice nice :D love it. many many more. almost everything i like. every the tiny little otters. so cute. i even have the thought of bring them home. so nice. lols. then took the tram ride one full round and headed for supper. after supper, headed home. :D nice day indeed.

27 june-

last sat, went to bird park, i had fever. :(( so sad. thought that i can have fun there, but nope. i didnt. had fever and spilt headaches. really so painful that i wanted to have my brain out. couldnt walk for long. bones very tiring. sighs.. but after all, i manage to end the trip with a magic show. nice. headed home straight. the plan was, 8am reached bird park. had breakfast there. then walk around and go along with the bird show/ feeding time. so sad, didnt see philip there. but i see many other people. clarence, evelyn, fred, shui shi, gan, rangid, hafeez, jasmine, anne, rigg, many other. so many. they recognize me. so happy :D i miss working there in fact. heard from one guy working in retail that the digiphoto people now like very unfriendly like us. like "yaya" like that. wtf. what so nice to "yaya" about? i can see that too. people like dont flag. slack. never work so hard like us. even photo also not nice. especially bird show one. not i trying to "yaya" here, but like seriously, i think i take better than her lor. too bad, raj sacked me. i actually intend to buy some photos if it is nice, but, too bad, not nice. :( so sad for those people who cannot make my sales. i know that it wont affect much, but i believe it does.

28 june-

ytd, went to the zoo. the timing for going to the zoo was delayed. because i had a fever on sat and i need more rest. although fever was gone, my bones are still aching. especially my neck, the atlas and axis and collar bone. so tired. but i manage to walk every where so much better than at the JBP. without the spilt headaches is so much better. and of course the fever. breakfast and lunch, we had KFC. omg. is fat.. but, i guess i will lose weight in the next 2 weeks ;) hope so. lols.

now, im going to sleep. photos will be uploaded soon. if not will be on facebook. :D trying to make myself tired to go and sleep. later have to wake up early cause dont know how long the journey. :)

`attachment.

2009-06-25T14:31:00.002+08:00

alrights, in school now blogging. lols :P

done some projects. nothing much. im incharge of the powerpoint slide. not so bad. at least im doing something.

later meet julia at plaza then going clementi to meet denise around 6pm. lols.

i dont think im going back for band today. never bring instrument. very sians. just feel out of place there. :(

`BORED.

2009-06-24T16:53:00.002+08:00

didnt blog for quite a few days. alrights, i shall update about my doings. :D

last sunday went vivo with my family. got a knee length pants - pink. and a cap :) all the girls, got a cap, including my mum. lols. then walked around until around 6pm like that and went home. before going home, went to take the mono train to sentosa for a round and back to vivo and home.

monday, i didnt do much things. stayed at home. went for dinner at yew tee. had KFC, zinger for dinner. :D *yummy* now, im craving for one again. lols :P

ytd, meet endut at panjang then went to timah to meet denise. nothing much. play an hour of pool then had dinner at mac.

today, stayed at home the whole day again! super BORED. watch tv, online, listen to songs. i did some touch up of the FON project work. sians. still not yet finish.

tml, im going back to school for PAS project work. i dont think can be done lor. cause some people just like to be late. knn. if she and she late again, i will just go. i wont bother to do anything. zero then zero lor. i can cause them to deduct some marks too. punctually is very important lor. idiot people! she better not be bossy if not i wont give her face and just YELL at her straight at her face. i already "ren" her very long le hor. is time to stop her bossy attitude!

im so looking forward to this coming weekend. friday, my family and i will be going NIGHT SAFARI! :D so happy. then not only that, sat we will be going JURONG BIRD PARK and sun will be ZOO. woohoo.. so happy. although i went all 3 places after the upgrade etc.. i still want to go again with my family. they havent been there for quite a long time, so i bring them there to walk around :) must catch all the SHOWS! nice nice. sat will be going early morning to have breakfast at BONGO! woohoo... nice and cheap. :D miss it man! then going to catch all the shows and going to lory loft!!! my favourite. haha. the more i think, the more happy im. :)

`bored

2009-06-19T01:18:00.003+08:00

alrights, ytd went to school for projects. but one is like 97% done. still need another dry run to confirm everything is done properly. well, for PAS, found some articles i suppose. im sorry that i didnt help, cause im not into all this. my best is to help you guys collate everything and put it in the powerpoint slides. i will try my best to help as much as i can. sorry group mates. other than these two projects, i still have another two more to complete. sians.

after that, went for band. actually, i think that poly band is like so much "BETTER" than secondary school bands. i miss CCKWINDS. like seriously lor. the discipline is there at least. i know i do talk in the band in poly, but i was sure that im soft enough. band ended late today. like until 9.40pm like that. wth right? im very tired already, yet still cannot go after the band practice. seeing some people cry, scoldings, lecturing. aiyo.. like please lah, we are like young adults, not kids anymore. say what "the same old people". is like, since you can say that is the "same old people", that means you can point out who exactly who are they. i dont think that it is a stupid question. is right to voice out man. we need to know who are those people in order that "those people" will not do the same mistake. but anyway, there are still other committee members say that walking in and out is fine if there isnt your part. when your part comes, just play. isnt this the best solution? why are you making things so difficult for us and especially yourself. well, here i can say that you are not concentrating on your parts, because you are concentrating on those people who are walking in and out of the band room. right? well, im sorry to say this. THIS IS MY BLOG and i have the RIGHTS to say anything i want.

i dont find a place in band now. yea, there are the ELITES. but, is like doesnt seem to fit me in. im just so jealous in a sense that everyone get a chance to talk to him and i didnt. but on the other hand, im glad that latiff came to talk to me while waiting for my dad to drive the car to pick me up. is really nice of him and i really appreciated it. thanks :D

called my babe, she is coming over to "ton". well, if really do come. i hope so. :D

missed him. just wonder how is he doing now, how is he coping with his work and everything. just hope that it will be fine. HIS BACK! he always has this back problem. not always lah :P is like he injured it before, thats why. well, when you want me to help you give a massage? :D (people, dont think anyhow arh. just massage to relief pain hor)

now, waiting for my babe to arrive to my place.

btw, people, alvin - gor, got a dog. silky terrier. well, is not my type of dog, but is very guai. so, i helped him a bit. done everything until like 12am then start walking home with his accompany because is late. anyways, he is my gor what :P

"God, i really need you to give me strength. i need the strength to help my friends and myself. give me the power of words to talk and people would listen. do tell me whether im helping people is right or the wrong thing to do. guide through your light. im holding on to you. you are my torch light that will lead the pathway. Holy spirit, fill in my house and let all of them to have peace in their hearts. never leave this place. Father, i need you love. fill me with your love. you have created me and you send your son, Jesus, to die for me on the cross. i love you so much yet you love me more than anyone else. i know that you will just be my side, holding me, taking care of me, give me a hand when i fall.. so many things you done and you are going to do more. so here, i pray that i will not let you go again for you are always by my side looking at me. i never will want to turn my back towards you. i want to have a trust. i pray all this in Jesus more precious name, AMEN."

tag replies -

NICOLE: hi there. thanks for tagging. and you are linked. i will be back soon. no promises but this sat. alrights? miss you girls so much :D

CHERIE: hi there. thanks for your prayers. i guess it works :) because im now walking together with GOD hand in hand. :D thanks girl.

JERLYN: thanks babe. i think we think alike. :D catch up with you and the other girls soon when im back and really ready for GOD. maybe this sat? no promises. :)

JESS: why not you talk to me online. leave an offline msg also can? thanks arh. i also not sure of your number :P psps.

LOUIS: bestie! no, i all along know that you are good. just that, that time i never thought of calling anyone. thanks again anyway for even tagging in my blog after seeing my post. :) really happy.

`missed, loved.

`"same old people"

2009-06-17T23:35:00.003+08:00

well, i have been keep a good habit with god. :D read his words every nights. even is just one chapter. i prayed every night too. i think is a good start.

today, didnt take a stick. quite tired in fact. but i know with god, everything can be done.

i did medi ytd. omg. waited for so long to have this chance lor. is like because i study nursing, i cannot have long nails and coloured nails too. but last week was exam week and the previous one there was not NSL, so i kept my nails long enough to do medi. i just love it lah. i know, im very girly. but after all, IM A GIRL! :D

im closing all my ear piercing and only left the first one on each ear. the normal normal one. i a bit dont bear to let it close. like with me quite some time. some like 3 to 4 years already. cause i think since sec 1 i started piercing extra ear holes. see whether can close or not lor, if cannot then nvm, i will put ear stick :P

i want to thank like LOUIS and HUMAIRA.. although my worst day had gone, they still came to ask how am i. thanks you bestie. love you guys :D

i got to shut down my lappy now. so tata~

picture of the day : -

`god is like a star shining on me. :D

2009-06-15T14:34:00.001+08:00

thanks people, im fine now. :D

the past two days like, i felt like no one is there for me. but now, i was wrong. thanks people :)

loves to those we really thought of me. people like, denise, jannah, eehwa, zhantian, aunt, sisters, even one passerby.

`im fine :)

2009-06-14T19:14:00.002+08:00

today, i really needed someone to talk to. i dialed a number, my aunt's number. when i hear her voice, i started crying very hard.

i know that i break promises, and is my fault/wrong. i knew that i did something really wrong. yea, i do pick up smoking again. but is not anyone fault, especially not denise! seriously, whenever i see people smoke, it will just temp me into it. i just cannot control it. mum just dont understand how i feel. like seriously, no one understand. they think that is just so easy to stop. yea, maybe in a sense. but when smokers just go into cold turkey, it makes the person have the urge to do it more. thats why, that time i quitted already yet, now still holding a stick in my hand and continue. i just cannot control. my brain is functioning every single part of my body. and it is taking control of everything.

parents, do like to judge people. dad just insulted my friend. it makes me really hurt. mum wants to see her, but i just dont allow. i dont want because of my mistake and pull denise into the water with me and drown. im sorry babe. other than sorry, i really dont know what more to say to you.

dad, mum, im sorry. i know that i disappointed you two. i will try my best not to do that again as i promised aunt too.

`tearing.

2009-06-14T00:30:00.002+08:00

saw my sister's blog. just want to let her know that, i didnt forget what i send to you. i know that the msg is still with you in your phone. i know that. i did wrote that i will want to change. but girl, is really hard. i knew i broke promises, i knew that i cannot be trusted. and i also know that im stupid. the most stupidest person you will ever know.

whatever to my family seriously. you're right girl, there is no more warmth in the house. in this family anymore! no more. because of me, because im stupid. real stupid. sorry about that. i dont think is because of dad. whatever to it. im going to wash my hands off it.

i will change. from a bubbly and cheerful girl, to a quiet one. i will not want to talk to anyone more often than ever.

withdraw of nursing is what in my mind now. i dont think that i made a right choice. maybe mr lim is right, i dont fit to be a nurse. maybe just rotting at home is the best. i can help up with house chore like a maid. because im so stupid that i cannot do anything right. yea. maybe i can give it a consider thought.

well, GOD is always with me. this time round, i really need HIM to be with me. i want GOD to really may me change into the way i want and not the way im. i want to be a quiet and non-talkative girl. i want to be somebody i want to be. i want to be like just caring about myself and nobody else. i want to be so stupid that i cannot even study. GOD, can you help me this time?

`more tears.

2009-06-13T23:05:00.002+08:00

i just dont understand why. why i do things but people just dont seem to see or even realize it? i really dont care. people just wont see it.

im just so stupid sometimes. real stupid. i will get into some stupid shit. some people think that im a shit, im stupid. well, yes im. i always am. im that stupid that i will fall into some kind of shit.

from now on, i will just change people. the old stupid jazreel will be gone forever. im changing and getting into a new life.

`tears.

2009-06-11T23:00:00.002+08:00

ytd paper was not so bad. i was actually quite confident about ytd's paper. AAP and NSL :D nsl was like really common sense. tested BMI, the clinical chart, and the intake/output chart. so that one very confident. just scared that the B/P i write wrongly. for AAP, i was expected to be confident more on the topic muscle in the end it was like the heart! wth right? but overall, not too bad lah. :) quite happy about it.

after the paper ytd, when to jurong point with jannah and her bf. had pizza at pizza hut then walk walk around the mall. then val called me, we went to meet up with her and then slack under a block. play at the senior citizen fitness corner. damn funny. pictures were taken - shown below. it will be uploaded on facebook soon :) very lazy today. lols.

just now in the afternoon, went to meet the ELITES. had lots of fun and photo taking. :D after that i head of to find denise. had cup noodles and drinks.

awhile later, we went to meet up with mad :D at batok. we took 184 from clementi to np bus stop. thought we could take like 61 to batok, but it doesnt reach there. so we walked all the way to the shell petrol kiosk there. then waited for 985. slack slack awhile then around like 10.15 caught up 188 head home. when i on board the bus, my mum called me ask where am i. then i alighted at the next bus stop and my dad fetch me home together. so, just had my shower.

and im blogging now. lols! after that going to study MIC. my last paper. woohoo!! :D damn happy. people finish their paper like tuesday or some on wed and yet i still have paper tml :( sadded. see people had lots of fun but not me. lols. nvm, tml will be my last paper and i can enjoy already :D my 2 weeks of holiday then clinical attachment for another 2 weeks. YEAH, so looking forward to my CA. :D

`mugging

2009-06-10T02:05:00.002+08:00

ytd just had my PAS paper. actually was confident for psychology but it turn up to be the other way round. i did better in sociology. is like whatever i studied for sociology, it came out. for FON paper on monday, was totally sucks. cause, i never study a shit out of it! lols. but kind of "serve me right". but is like i dont know what to study about FON. is like really crap. *opps*. nevermind, i will try my best for the FON the next term. i will pass this next time round! i dont want to fail any module and retake it. is like waste of time. lols.

later, i have AAP and NSL together as one paper. i guess NSL, still not so bad. kind of common sense - refers to "everyone" know things that are often true. lols. wah.. sociology is still in my mind! okays, back to topic. AAP, im scared of the heart and muscles. the joint movement of the muscle etc... is like really OMG! i dont understand a thing for heart. is like so confusing. a small small heart, yet so complicated. without it, no blood, no life! lols. then for muscle, is also hard cause i dont know how to spell those name of the muscles. people who know me long, should know lah, my spelling sucks like HELL! lols. i fail spelling like for almost every spelling test! like never pass before, unless words i know. haha. no choice, what to do, have to force myself to learn those words.

ELITES. omg, they are all very fun people. we have the LULU - ME. then also, joseph, michelle, jeanette, cindy, fee, latiff, weixing, peiqi, ming tjun, hazmi, and some more lah. lols. lazy to list down already. lols. :P nice knowing them. because of the elites, im not leaving band after the concert. i guess everyone is very happy! cause im LULU. lols. this week no band, i feel weird. but, at least we meet like ytd and maybe later after my paper, im going to join them again! woohoo! :D depends. really have alot of laughter with them. cause is just damn funny. haha. the ELITES will never fall apart right people? :) loved.

thursday, i got NO PAPER! woohoo. but is not the end yet. friday still got one more paper. sians. lols. but hope MIC would be easy. is my last paper. :D best is that MIC come out infection. that is like my favourite topic. yeah! lols. is like also somehow the easiest of all :P and that day i pay attention, without and divided attention thats why it all encode into my long term memory and easy for recall - refers to recall without retrieval cues. :D wah.. that shows that i did study for PAS k people. i know is hard to believe, but i really did study. im not holding on to book or anything. :P

ehs.. i really dont understand some people. they like to say that they never study but they did study at home. and they are actually confident about it. these people are the people i dont like. not going to say who :P if not will be offended. if you think is you people, then go ahead. :P cause im so not going to say is who or are who. cause, only people i trust i say and they tell me the true.

okays, im kind of random to say this. but nevermind. blogging is talking about how i feel. so.. i just express it out.

well, people, im going to mug for AAP! wish me luck. :D

dude, i would not think about you, i will put you aside first to concentrate. and anyways, i never always think of guys. lols! i know, im a "little girl" to you.

`"little girl"

2009-06-03T17:13:00.002+08:00

omg! im getting the stress already. common test is coming up. then like my CA also during the last 2 weeks of holidays. projects to be done by week 13 right after CA. :( sians. btw, CA is clinical attachment. my polyclinic CA is at MARINE PARADE! wth. very far leh. anyone can switch with me? argh.. but nvm. this is a test to me. i will be punctual! *cross fingers* lols.

now im going to study PAS. although FON is the first paper, but i dont know what to study about leh. i will study this weekend. to revise a bit here and there. :D i wan to get PAS into my brain first. is HARD! argh.. :(

getting sponsorship from sgh. hope i could get it. if not i think i will be going nuh. there is like the second choice. if really cannot, i think i would go to the private hospital to try. really need cash with me. not only that, with that money, i can help my parents by having my own pocket money and manage money too. i dont want them to stress about giving me money for school, textbooks, etc.. really want to help them as much as possible :D im a good girl right? :P *thick skinned*

alrights, im going to mug! mug mug mug! :D

`stress-ed

2009-05-24T23:43:00.002+08:00

havent been blogging. sorry to those loyal readers :) not that i thick skin, really got people as me why i never update wors. :P

last week, i was so stress actually. i dont understand a thing in heart. not really a thing lah, is like very complicated. to me it is.. so, i couldnt get it. MIC also. is a very hard module. maybe is not hard lah, is like the lecturer not good. opps! :P

ytd, went to REDRAIN concert at paya lebar. met daniel and go together. i really want to turn back to God. but there is something stopping me. i know one would be guilt. there is still something else stopping me. i really dont know what is it. totally frustrating me. :( redrain band, the songs are really nice, but is different from all other bands. like planet shakers etc... i love hillsongs and the other band because i would feel more warmth and close to god. i did feel his presence with me, rain poured down on me. tears dropped. feel home. :D

today, got school at 10am until 6pm. then at night got band. :( really dont like sia. i dont enjoy playing there. so strict and everything. sighs.. anyway, i will be leaving after the concert i guess. :P

"Dear Lord Jesus, i would like to be your side once again... i will quit all the addiction after i finish this. i promise lord, please give me this one more chance. i know that i had been turning my back towards you, but Lord, i want you to believe in me. because i have believe in you. i had fall many times and left scars behind, i believe that you would heal. and i will be clean once again. i pray hard for the day. amen."

this is the picture of the day. :D

`turning back.

2009-05-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

i got alot of photos to post, but im just to lazy. sorry. :P

trying to catch up with homework. i really dont know how to. im not those who do homework and hand in on time. now trying very very hard to get it done. this week, i have like 2 CNP learning journal to complete. CITS reflective report to be handed up next week. it is like 22.5%! omg! crazy man. then like FON care plan 2 by this friday to be correctly done! how sia. tml ask people to help me. thursday got NSL written test. another 5%! sighs. this time i wan to get full marks lor. PAS test was today. and guess what, i failed! i guess so. psychology, i only get like 2 or 3 out of 5, so what do you think i will get for sociology? lols. i think 0 marks sia. PAS 10% gone! :( sob sob sob...

i changed! i really do. going to school every single day. even though somedays i drag myself there, i still go. homework, done and hand in on time.

now, i guess im stressing myself. it just dont seem to get it right. i cant sit long to do my homework. i dont understand some topic for AAP. like heart and muscle! omg. this is driving me crazy. argh....

`crazy girl.

2009-05-13T21:51:00.002+08:00

ytd was a wtf day to me. lols.

i wasnt doing much things but a little bit more talking than others. or can say is commenting on something after the teacher said something. then that stupid teacher scolded me. wtf. then he shouted this : " 1 more word from you, you will get out of the class!" wth right? then i was like keeping quiet lor in the tutorial. when he asked my group to answer question and i wasnt in the mood to answer him anymore and i expected him to ask me to answer the question. so when he asked me, i said : " i dont feel like talking anymore!". :P dont care sia. if it was last time, i would say this already : " i thought you said i say one more word you will send me out of class? " idiot sia! but because in poly, teacher/ lectures treats us more like young adults than teens like in sec school. therefore, i didnt use the childish way to say him back. lols. jazreel grown arh? lols.

today, there is his lecture, the pas. then he was like "oie!" and then followed by : "shut up!" and i started laughing already. and the others who knows about it. then he like a bit ps then says this : "the other group understand what he try to mean." lols. dots....

i confirm signing up for sponsorships. is a SGH. dont know whether can or not. hope is possible. i really dont want to lose this opportunity. my parents dont have to give me pocket money. and i can shop for bag, shoes, clothings! really need these badly. then after had enough of clothings especially, i will save money already. no spending! no more! jazreel is going to learn SAVING! jazreel needs SAVINGS. :D

`"one more word..."

2009-05-11T17:48:00.002+08:00

today is like a wth day. because, i only have an hour of lecture and thats it! wth right? PAS, teacher postpone the lecture to wednesday for sociology. as for physiology, still not sure about it. but, tml we will get to know when is the make up lesson for today. then, NSL also postpone to wednesday morning. then actually, wed is like one of the free day, but this week, become another packed day like tuesday. study from 8am to 6pm. wth. lols.

tml, got lesson until 6pm from 8am sia. tiring lor. hope i dont fall asleep during lecture. im really trying my very best not to already. remember i during secondary school life, i always do that. no matter what, when the teacher is boring or i dont understand anything, or i tired, i will just sleep and ignore the teacher in front. i just dont give a damn to it. bad girl right? but now, i really changed a lot. start to go everyday. try not to be late also. be punctual. i only late once sia. since last time in secondary 5. i think first week of school, i late like 3 times le? lols. now like 4 weeks of school already, i late once on the 3rd week. lols. good right? im impressed by myself! GOOD JOB! :D

later, maybe going to see my dad play bowling. maybe get free air con there and then study somethings there. bring my "new moon" book there to read as well. i kind of hungry sia. last night didnt eat my dinner. then just now in the morning only drink ice-milo. then went to library to get waffle in NP. got 2 small packs of snacks. thats it, my b-lunch. lols. im going on diet! i wan to slim down! argh...

`wth day.

2009-05-10T21:28:00.005+08:00

all these are photos we took last week. one of the NSL lesson, we had our practice again on our PPE. i done not bad. lols. hand washing too. :P

friday i was kind of happy in a way, endut suddenly msg me. a bit random, but i was happy and surprised. in the end didnt really had time with him. but is really nice to see him.

and today, mad missed call me. msging him for quite some time already. he said that he is not going mia anymore. :D very happy to hear that too.

nth much. i really dont know what to write for today's post. i think i shall stop here. anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA! :D

`surprised

2009-05-06T23:51:00.005+08:00

skull and me

"human" and me

skeleton and me

"human" and me

"human"

these picture took on tuesday during AAP practical. my favourite module! :D although a bit dont understand here and there, i still like the module/ subject. is really nice. since young, i like to study on human body ; human biology - something like that. of all the encyclopedia, i finish one of it and it is "our bodies". simple simple one, but during that moment, it "chim" to me. :P now, im studying something more "chim" than before. lols!

today, was suppose to meet mojo to do the CNP e-tutorial together. in the end, sabby and me were late. and we couldnt find them in the library, yet, i didnt bother to give a call or msg. then went to meet nabilla and nurul at the games corner there. had a game of TABOO! then not enough time to finish the CNP work. then rushed off to lecture. was a bit late. it end quite early for that lecture. after CNP was FON! yucks! i dont really like this subject. both tutorial and lecture teacher are not very good leh. can say that they, both are quite irritating. i meant the voice/ tone. then make me not quite interested with it. one good thing is, we ended early too! YEAH! sabby and me went to the library to finish the CNP tutorial. brought our laptop out, yet, cannot watch the video. need to use the school facilities. sadded. then quickly watched the video and answered all the questions. we were late again! late for the mask fitting! we quickly walked to the blk 81. aiyo~ damn far sia! really tiring. but, a good form of exercise. :) done our mask fitting, took bus to find my mum then off home.

i felt a bit bad that i didnt go for the CITS project meeting. i seriously dont like the module. but i really sorry about today. i cannot make it. because, it just slipped off my mind and i had other plans already. felt really bad. hope they really understand, and i hope that i could contribute more on the next worksheet as i promised.

tml, is thursday. bag a bit heavier. but got another favourite lesson. NSL! best man! cause is practical then is really hands - on. like we transfer "patient" from bed to chair, changing of bed linen, etc... fun. i really like it. in fact, love it! :D

tml, is a tiring day for me. because there is BAND practice! :( but fun lah, playing in the band. i need to work more on my tone. sucks man.

`sleepy. -_-

2009-04-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

i really dont know what is that guy thinking seriously. i dont know whether i did anything wrong or say anything wrong. all my intention is like want to let him know that, friends around him are caring for him. he seems to be okay in front of others and not in front of him. not literally in front of me. but through technology, ex: messaging, phone... he says that he wants me to pretend that i dont know him. wth right? i was like so shocked to receive this msg. i was so angry with him :( just hope that there is someone to talk some sense into him. he has to face the fact of somethings. is not just avoiding, by offing his phone. is really not a man! a real man! hopefully, he would come into sense faster. :)

today, i saw BRAIN! he this ass hole! i waited for him for so long on monday! idiot! so sad lah, he just walked pass me thats why. he said until 8.30pm then i msged and say i will wait for him the go home together. he didnt reply me. so, i decided to call him. yet, he didnt pick up my phone. i called many times lor. he said i only missed call once! wtf! when i see him, i scolded him and yell at him and hit him with my file in hand. lols. damn funny lah. he was like kind of shocked. but i dont care. cause i was super angry. but now, IS OKAY! brain said lots of sorry to me. LOLS. but is okay without sorry also. cause i felt better after hitting him :P lols. ps about that arh.

after that, i went to band room for self practice. didnt do well today. really bad. sadded. :( my sound all gone. getting worst and worst. sighs... dont want to talk about it.

just received denise msg. is really nice of her. I MISS HER SO MUCH! school life without her really different. i want to say anything also can. cause she understands. not that i saying the mojo friends not good. but i would prefer denise. i bitch about someone, she will know i what i mean exactly without me explaining. and she would also bitch with me. without fail one. lunch time, we both will sometimes talk about our own problems. with mojo, i dont feel comfortable to talk to them. i still prefer my DENISE! people out there, denise is mine arh. dont snatch away from me other than yx. :D

`emptiness.

2009-04-25T23:52:00.003+08:00

today went to NP band. i was late by a bit. lols. i didnt go for the game in the morning. and luckily i didnt go, it was bored! thats what i heard. lols. played quite a number of pieces. kind of tiring cause like one week never play everything just changes. the stamina, lipping and everything lah. those in band or plays instrument will understand what im trying to say. then got solo at the Eagles Medley, i screwed up in the second bar. it just went flat. at first was really very nice. but the reed and instrument just dont wan to play along with me. lols. then just screwed up lor. :( but still okay lah. cause all the first years will think that, that is my first time playing. so, not so bad. as what firdaus taught me was, just play out no matter what. cause if dont play, it will be worst. trying to learn that too. :D

after NP band, went to marsiling cc. had lots of fun there. kind of relax there lor. nothing much one. now, i cant go marsiling, i had to tell lies. today i told my mum that im going for a movie after NP band instead of marsiling. cause my parents just dont allow me to go there anymore. :( so, i going to think of another excuse for next saturday. i mostly can only go for marsiling on saturday. cause tuesday hard to find an excuse there. most likely, i will be playing for the concert with marsiling. just pray hard that nothing goes wrong :)

just cam home not long after some snacks with hazmi, lattif, alif and weixing. lots of laughter here and there. i really enjoyed myself with them. :D

tml, dont know what im going to do again. maybe out with family? maybe just stay at home? is staying at home, i would consider to go NP tml with hazmi they all. they are going to open the band room. cause that careless weixing, left his planner there. then they might play instrument and practice. so, if im staying at home, i will not want to waste my life and time by doing nothing. although i need to study a bit for some modules, i still think i need time to relax myself by playing my oboe! :D maybe study in the morning then go band with them. i will surprise them. ;)

the first week of school was great actually. although dont like the walking here and there, a place to another, the MOJO team still had fun together walking there. gossip here and there about some people or stuffs. funny lor. :) i think my favorite module would be the NSL and AAP. nice. really enjoy have the practical and lectures. other than the mojo team, also know some new friends from other class, same lecture. really fun and nice. but one guy, kind of irritating to me and the others. :P nvm, at least, im not in the same class as him can le. *phew*.

my MOJO team :D :-

from left to right - SABBY, NURUL, MINDY, JAZ, JUDE, FIRDAUS, LEKSHMI, and FENMIEN.

`first week of school.

2009-04-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

the past few days i had been studying. so, didnt blog after the first day of school. :D

just came home not long after band practice at NP. they are getting ready for the tune in on saturday. im going, but only in the afternoon and not the morning when they have games. i wan to sleep arh. lols.

tml is the best day of the week man! lesson although starts at 8am, it ends at 11am! wooh! nice. i can go home and sleep, watch tv, study. YEAH!

i think is kind of unbelievable that i will be studying what i had learn that day. most people know that i dont study one. im those like, when exams come then choing last min work. right people? but now, things change. i woke up after my O level results already. is really bad. so, now, i really want to study very very hard and get as high GPA as possible. get into a go university and work with a high pay. :D maybe im thinking too far, but is really good to have plans and aims. i want to get my results with tears of joy! awaiting for that day. lols.

tml, go AAP and FON. AAP lesson is nice. the lecturer still not so bad in person. hope he gives good lecture unlike the MIC lecturer. is like she thinks everyone took biology before. wth! but whatever, im not going to depend on her. getting the reference books for MIC and AAP. cause im not a biology student previously, thats why im getting one for easy references. FON arh, the lecture is kind of boring leh. but, no choice, still have to study leh. i dont want to fail a module. going to strive and excel! :D

so far so good in school. my clique of friends really very nice. we are like the "MOJO team". kind of funny lah, i know. but nvm, at least i had fun with them. people like, firdaus, fenmien, nurul, lekshmi, jude, saby, and mindy.

`aim high.

2009-04-20T21:14:00.002+08:00

today is first day of school :D

first lesson, i was LATE! omg. damn ps sia. lols. then went in and quickly sit down. sat down for like 45 mins then we had the hand washing practical. lols. learn something new. i noe kind of lame to some people but then is like quite a thing to healthcare after the SARS outbreak. need to practice sia. tml going to do it again infront of teacher. lols.

tml, 8am start lesson. sians. meet jolene at 7am at westmall for breakfast then taking bus 61 to school. :D

today, met a number of friends. we kind of a click so far. so, hope to have fun with them so long as possible. im the noisy one again! everywhere i go, im the one! wth. lols.

`happy

2009-04-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

tml is going to be my first day in school. lesson going to start. who is going to be in the same class as me sia. :( jolene only starts at 12pm. and im starting at 10am. aiyo... a big difference sia. im getting nervous and excited at the same time. OMG! nervous sia. i still dont noe who are in the same class as me. hope my classmates are nice people. :D

tml i starting at 10am at blk 81. having practical lesson. 2 hours man! lols. hope i will enjoy it and learn many many new things. then having break at 12pm till 1pm. then having lecture at LT78. same as jolene. YEAH! then i can find jolene le. :) an hour of lecture then having another break again until 3pm fr another lecture at LT68E. kind of far sia. and this lecture is like until 6pm! OMG! i scared that i cannot sit still for like 3 hours! lols. someone pls keep me accompany. ehs.. nvm. cause i got jolene. she might be in the same class as me too. cause like we both have L04. i think should be the same. i only need to bring one book to school, AAP. kind of thick. but better than jolene le, she needs to bring like 2 books if im not wrong.

after such a long break, finally school starting. lols. afraid im still on the holiday mood. hope that this time i really can study well. :) august there will be exams already. which is like secondary school SA1 like that. really scared that i cannot make it sia. very worried although is like still kind of long time to august. lols.

wondering whether i made a wrong choice to nursing. but i dont think so. cause like taking diploma in nursing, i still can take many other routes. eg like i can take degree in phycology. this is wat i actually wanted to take up. :D i will consider about it. maybe i might continue with nursing. :) aiya.. is still very long to decide it. like 3 years later de matter. lols.

`nervous, excited.

2009-04-18T19:34:00.004+08:00

im confused with somethings. but thanks to DENISE, im okay :D

came back from HS- FOC camp. overall, it was fun and great! had lot of fun there. met a number of friends. one of them is Nurul! thanks to her. we were together for the three days. i really appreciate her accompany during the camp. sorry for anything if you dislike about k? after all, we are going to be in a big family. :)

in day two of the camp, OMG! i kinda of dont like it, but i was memorable! it was the wet and dirty games. morning after our breakfast, we had wet games first. i think the best one was like the "volcano" game. everyone was being sabo and got wet. i was one of them. the GM said, : "ehs, why this girl very dry huh?". then i was like oh shit, im going to get it! and down goes the cold pail of water on my body! lols. but it was fun. then was the dirty games, is one i will never forget! especially the "pen and pencils" game. omg! that is horrible! lols. is like we lie down on the mat with same dirty things on it already. things like, toothpaste, smashed tomato, tomato sauce, other sauces, coffee powder, butter, etc.. all added together very smelly! damn smelly. and we have to force ourself to go down and lie on it. then nevermind leh. after lying down, the disgusting part is, they will take butter and make it on your faces. then say, : "you need some suntan lotion hor?". wth right? although is very very disguting, still, i guess i will never forget it! haha.

at night of day two, we had this game call, "save the GLs". is like we started playing at 1am. around there i guess. then it ended at 3am! really tired sia. slept at 5am. the game was fun. but if the timing is right, it will be more fun lor :D

now, preparing for school already. monday school starts and a new beginning start and it will become my history in my life! i must start it fresh! jiayous jaz! must go to school and study hard! whoo!

`fun

2009-04-13T20:22:00.007+08:00

today went to NP for the induction day. meet JOLENE and FIRDAUS at bpp at 0645 like that for breakfast. and the stupid mac only opened at 0700. then make us wait and almost late for the induction. but is was nothing, we make it. :D

it was totally boring cause like they keep repeating wat each other had jus said. damn boring. is like one jus said "A", the other one will reply "A" stuff again. waste time sia. but then after the whole thing, went to get our notes and had lunch there. and we also went to get the sports and wellness t-shirt. the shirt damn big lah. is like i also can wear small. lols.

after all the walking around to get our things and things to buy, we took a bus back to panjang. on the bus we took photos. omg! my photo shooting not very good sia. with so many attempts, then in the end got one photo with all three of us in. :D sorry about it arh. but is kinda of funny too. lols. awhile fir not in, then next jol. lols.

then, jol went to meet her gf. then fir went home. and i went to meet rachel and meng suan. nothing much. quite bored. lols. then went home for dinner. sians.

my poor boy now doing his amaths. still got so many to go. jiayous boy! :D

wed, im going to camp. kinda of excited. lols. can meet new friends. yeah! but jolene and me will be the cloest! :D right girl? haha.

`excited.

2009-04-12T22:51:00.000+08:00

`:D

2009-04-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

ytd when to check out my time-table. and is out. is so packed lah. omg. only like friday is the best day of the week ever. only like 3 hours in school although have to reach school at 8am. dont noe leh, i kinda regretting to choose nursing. should have taken an engineering course. it jus suits me more. is like my family like no one in health ministry. like most of them are in like engineering side. like my dad, my uncle, and more lah. is this really the right choice for me? sighs.. i suddenly jus felt all the stress! like studying biology. although is one of my fav subject, is like, i didnt touch it at all. aiyo.. like that how sia. can die man! lols.

not only the time table make me stress, the walking from one LT to the other LT or class is making me stress too. like walking up and down. especially on tuesday.. then tuesday study from 8am to 6pm. alternate weeks, but is like freaking me out. then also, there is only one break at 1pm. wth right? gosh.. JOLENE, i think we are so dead already.

jolene, you will be by my side yea? dont throw me alone arh. :D i guess you wouldnt too. lucky still got jolene, if not i think i will be so bored and going to become anti-social. LOLS. i dont think i will! haha.

later, maybe in the morning going to SCH to watch the last day of SYF for secondary schools. only watching the morning session. afternoon, i have to skip. meeting him. :p

hope, tml will be a nice day. nth will change any of this plan.

`stressed.